@novicefather: I just steam cleaned my carpets and wondered how difficult a homicide would be to clean up.
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@shadonium: Her: Show me your pics Me: Ok *blackberry restarts* *waiting* *gets married* *have kids* Son: Dad, your phone finished restarting *dies*
@UncleDuke1969: "Mom?" "Yes?" "Are we having seafood for dinner?" "No, why?" "I heard Dad on the phone." "And?" "He said that he picked up a case of crabs."
@dougbies: I like long, romantic walks away from women that try catching the bouquet at weddings