@ryaninco: I just stopped by the Apple store to use the restroom. iPeed.
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@ShortWhiteNUgly: An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.
@jwoodham: KATY PERRY: Can I use a real tiger? NFL: No way, that would be dumb. KATY PERRY: Oh I'll show you dumb.
@JasonLastname: How many push-ups is too many when meeting your girlfriend's dad for the first time?