@shariv67: "I just threw up in my mouth a little." - Cows
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@EJGomez: judas: honestly jesus is the coolest dude ever i hope he lives forever jesus: worst movie ive ever seen? Space Jam judas: yo what the f
@protolalia: It's sad when your closest friends get remarried and you know it'll be another 2-5 years before they're single and ready to hang out again.
@Henry_3k: You say I'm handsome but you also said your employer cancelled your optical coverage & you haven't had new glasses in 4 years, but thanks.
@valerie_tosi: In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say "you've got mail". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998.