@shariv67: "I just threw up in my mouth a little." - Cows
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@onion_an: [police raid at balloon store] Cop on radio:"We can hear gunfire is everyone ok, over" Hedgehog cop inside:"Its not gunfire, over"
@House_Feminist: I took my kids' screens away so we could spend some quality time together and it turns out they are really terrible to be around
@rockymomax: COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no
@Jade_VK: I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective