@Dani_Feld: I just took out a spider so big that, moments after, the postman rang the doorbell and I thought it was the spider.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: [first date] I'm really nervous about this. It's been a long time since I've [holds fork up and squints] used silverware.
@jctwritesstuff: [Date] Me: You're a scientist? Him: Yeah M: You like chemistry? H: M: Wanna get in my genes? H: M: *slow winks* H: Are you having a stroke?