@AndRyanTF: I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me
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@shadygrenade: "30 shots of espresso NOW." *barista's eyes widen* Whoa what do you do for a living? "I STAY AWAKE FOR A LIVING!" *roundhouse kicks barista*
@Book_Krazy: Me: I'm worried that the romance has gone out of our marriage Hub: Bet I can change your mind during the next commercial break
@iwearpajamas: My girlfriend talks to her dog like it's going to talk back. Kind of like when Christians talk to God.