@AndRyanTF: I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me
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@iGreenMonk: I just hate when these girls take selfies on road specially when i am peeing in the background.
@thepunningman: [date] Clark Kent: I propose a toast *they take their glasses off the table* Lois Lane: omg it's Supertable!
@sarcasm_inc: I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.
@WheelTod: If asked at a job interview "what's your biggest weakness", test their tolerance for honesty by replying "mortality"