@upsidedowntrash: i just took the price tag off of a gift i will be giving to my cat
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@baeblacksheep: Trojan condoms were named after a city that was maliciously and deceitfully entered and then burned to the ground? Hmmm....
@Shanehasabeard: Home buying tips: -Up & coming area = Murders -Good for young professional = Cheap bc of murders -Open layout = See murders from the kitchen
@pmclellan: To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped it's only because they're looking for someone more attractive and interesting. It has NOTHING to do with you.