@JermHimselfish: I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition.
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@bourgeoisalien: I feel pretty smart until I realize the wild ducks I’m surprised by on my neighbor’s lawn are metal lawn ornaments he’s had for 5 years.
@IamEveryDayPpl: Him: Who sings American Woman? Me: Guess Who. Him: Lenny Kravitz? Me: Guess Who did it first. Him: I don't know. Me: Guess Who. Him: ...
@wickedsuga: Everyone needs that one friend that will promise to redraw your chalk outline to make you look skinnier.
@GrumpyBahr: Just ate at a Japanese restaurant and the entire staff was Hispanic. I don't know what is real anymore!