@JermHimselfish: I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition.
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@nolifecoach: If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
@jokesforsmokes: "I have a bloody nose" - a British person emphasizing the fact that he has a nose.
@punmagnate: Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
@TheTweetOfGod: One Mississippi... two Mississippi... just kidding! One Mississippi is quite enough.