@MoistPork: I just typed "relationship" and it came up "delusional" on my phone. First time I realized my phone really is smart.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joe_binkley: (Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?
@Boba_Photo: 11yo: Daddy, why can't we get a dog? Me: I like our house the way it is. 11: What, small? Me: Go to your drawer.
@Mr_Kapowski: *wife and I start having an argument in a crowded restaurant* *she storms out upset* *I follow* Outside: "DINE AND DASH SUCCESS!" *high 5*