@bombscribe: I just unlocked the "My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare" badge on Foursquare!
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@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, flu shot. I look forward to three days off from work and returning looking like I was on a diet for six weeks.
@GrandadJFreeman: Girls are like police. Even when they get a hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you...
@notacroc: [date] HER: the last guy i went out with was as boring as a sack of potatoes ME: [gets up from table] my son is a potato