@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.
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@TheCiscoKidder: I have no problem feeding my kid something that fell on the floor, so I get it, restaurant employees.
@DanMentos: My Shakespeare brings all the boys to the yard And they're like We're gonna kick your ass fancy boy
@NoorShamma: Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Mars has 2 moons. Venus has no moons. Do you see where I'm getting at? Men, GIVE BACK OUR MOON!
@JP_theAntiHero: Dude turned from the ATM and tripped sending about eight 20s flying into my face. I teared up a little. I get strippers, I get it.