@robyn_vo: I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed.
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@BromanConsul: the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words
@3sunzzz: *looking at a picture* Wow, you have beautiful children! Thank you, they came with the frame.
@Brianhopecomedy: Apparently saying, "Oh, I just came to watch" makes everyone else uncomfortable in the Pilates class.
@ThaJawn: Me: Off to adult school recess! Boss: it's called lunch.. Me: *runs by dribbling basketball with two hands