@Coastiefish: I just walked through a spiderweb and invented the next Macarena.
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@The1WhosCrazy: "MEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS & MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"
@OBiiieeee: If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.
@stephenjmolloy: [First date] Sarah: I'm a twin. Me: Do you know what each other are thinking? *meanwhile across town* Sue: Sarah's date isn't going well.
@DeadLioness: Getting murdered would be scary, but not as scary as if the forensic guy with the white chalk would trace my body fatter than I really was