@Coastiefish: I just walked through a spiderweb and invented the next Macarena.
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@Parentpains: Thought I had $707 in my bank account, turns out it was "LOL" and I was holding my statement upside down.
@garrettbarry70: A clown sighting was reported at the office this morning but it turns out Karen put her make up on in the car again.
@WheelTod: Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark
@thatdutchperson: [blind date] Her: so what do you do for fu.. Me: I'M 34 IF YOU DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH ME I'M STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY TO EVER FIND A MATE