@jeffreyvanclea1: I just want 5 minutes alone with the person who thought it was a good idea to put little plastic stickers on every piece of fruit
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@WildeThingy: I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they're in.
@moist_jeff: I set up a camera in my room like in paranormal activity but it's just 8 hours of me waving & walking down imaginary stairs behind my bed.
@geekysteven: GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones ANGEL: Will do GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises
@AristotlesNZ: Coworker just asked me if I'm "working hard or hardly working" & now I'm standing over him asking if he's "bleeding bad or badly bleeding?"