@jeffreyvanclea1: I just want 5 minutes alone with the person who thought it was a good idea to put little plastic stickers on every piece of fruit
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@Mikecanrant: When my gang enters a brawl, we take small steps forward while snapping in unison. Jeff does a flip off a wall too. Its pretty intimidating.
@Playing_Dad: [@ Sunbeam Bread factory job interview] Boss: Your resume says you are "definitely not 3 ducks in a suit." 3 Ducks In A Suit: That's correct
@TedBundybitch: Don't mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months
@Hurly_Burly: Psychologist: Let's play a word association game. I'll say a word, you say what springs to mind Rainbows Me: I hope my ex dies in a fire.