@hipstermermaid: I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.
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@david8hughes: Therapist: so your parents also suffered from depression? Me: no they both liked it
@skullmandible: hot singles are in your area, merging together into a plurality, a hot leviathan. the time for chat is over. this is not your area anymore
@MeetingBoy: I love how you changed "Conclusions" to "Learnings" in my PowerPoint. Any other made-up words I should add?
@actioncookbook: USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product TWITTER: likes are now florps USERS: what TWITTER: timeline goes sideways