@Sean_Burgundy_: I just want a woman that will look out for me while I'm shaking the vending machine
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@LostFelicia: If you've never gotten stuck in a dress you tried on over your clothes in the middle of a clothing store, then you're not me.
@myonlymizztake: I want negative calorie credit for all the junk food I pass up. Didn't eat that cookie? That's -150 calories.
@TheMichaelRock: Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food.
@funnybeachgirl: "I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!!!" (Seductively takes baby dragon out of Gucci purse & lights cigarette.)