@E_lok44: I just want to be fit enough to reach into my glove compartment, without crying.
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@KKAlThani: Hello is this NASA? Ya what will happen if the sun decided to come out at night? Is it still called night or morning? Hello?
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: That guy is a bad apple. 6-year-old: He's a person. Me: I just meant he's mean. 6: Probably because you called him an apple.
@Ristolable: [First day of prison] "Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*