@LizHackett: I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like "If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit."
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@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
@GoldenSpirals: Humans will not be fully evolved until everyone achieves the ability to maintain a constant speed while driving.
@iwearaonesie: me: How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?! Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"
@Ameiam: I'm really surprised I decided to get Botox. At least I think I'm surprised, I can't really tell.