@thestlouisan: I just want to have enough followers so that my children can tweet comfortably for the rest of their lives.
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@Mr_Kapowski: The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers
@SkunkFarts: Once I meet a hot chick I automatically give her money. So if she says I'm stalking her I can tell the cops she's a hooker.
@aveuaskew: If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza.
@LindaInDisguise: You guys, I seriously never ask for prayers but this is an emergency. There is a rumor that Red Lobster might be closing. Pray. Pray hard.