@DowntimeDad: I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants.
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@bad_as_you_want: My boss said , "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my wonder woman costume
@Aaerios: Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower is the most violent sound ever. "U OK in there? Sounds like a Michael Bay film in that bathroom!"
@markhoppus: For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks.
@Its_Miss_Riss: Oh, you climbed Mt. Everest? Well, I live with 4 teenagers and ALL the laundry in the house is clean AND folded. .