@DowntimeDad: I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants.
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@TamiDaBushPilot: him: *rolls over and puts his hand under the pillow* what's this? me: what, my snuggle knife?
@WritePlay: god: now to create a universe for man, my most beloved creation lucifer: what if u make like 99.999% of it kill them instantly god: lol ok
@RandomAntics: Prisons and psych wards in movies always make it seem like an indignity, but I think it'd be nice to receive food through a slot in my door.
@EmilyFreestone1: *boyfriend and girlfriend in shower* Girl: do bad things to me babe Boy: *flicks shampoo in her eyes and trips her over*