@DowntimeDad: I just want to have the poker face of a toddler that tells you that they didn't poop their pants.
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@itswrigley: I never did think of myself as beautiful, terribly attractive, yes, but not beautiful.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Do the dishes Me: Can't. Holding the baby Wife: Take out the trash Me: Can't. Baby Wife: Change the baby Me: Can't. Doing dishes.
@Parentpains: The only standards I have in life are about the quality of alcohol I consume, and even that gets sketchy after about 5 drinks.
@Darlainky: Kids today will never know the joy of being selected to go outside to dust the erasers.