@JVarsityCaptain: I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you.
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@PaperWash: Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife
@panmidwest: Friend: you should come over tonight. we're watching 'How to Train Your Dragon 2' Me: Friend: Me: to what? Friend: