@dumbbeezie: I just want to learn enough sign language to convince a hair stylist to cut my hair in silence
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@Reverend_Scott: [Boss' office] "You're late AGAIN." Drove back for my phone. "Why do need it at work?" It's all I do. "WHAT?" I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.
@thequeensheart: "Mom, I promise I won't interrupt your nap." "Thanks honey, could I finish peeing by myself?"
@_ElvishPresley_: Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that
@PashSara: 5: Mommy, we can eat something if we not allergic? Me: yep 5:right now? Me:sure 5:BROTHER! Mom said we can have ice cream! Me: sonofa...