@shatterpants: I just want to wear futuristic clothes & run up to people, ask them what year it is and the date and run away screaming "There's still time"
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@Jmboyd58: When I die I want to be cremated and my ashes spread all over my bedroom...so my wife can clean up after me one more time.
@chuuew: BOSS: Can I see you in my office? INVISIBLE-MAN: [sigh] I don't know how many more ways I can explain this to you
@david8hughes: [date] Me: you wanna see what desserts they have? Wife: how about we go home & I'll let you- Me [calls waiter]: what desserts do u have?