@shatterpants: I just want to wear futuristic clothes & run up to people, ask them what year it is and the date and run away screaming "There's still time"
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@1par8head: Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner...
@SergioValenCo: I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut.
@murrman5: [during dinner on a date] "I'm currently in university" how long is your degree? "normally a year, but I have dial up, so probably 2"
@hazelmotes1: My daughter doesn't know I put the last pudding cup in her lunch earlier this evening, so she won't know I took it out and am eating it now.