@DannyZuker: I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SveldtSmelt: I like to eat a handful of paperclips right before I walk through a metal detector cuz I got all day, pal.
@trojansauce: [day after trying sushi for the first time] ME: *putting frozen chicken nuggets on table* WIFE: this isn't cooke- ME: it's sushi, susan
@VerifiedJayy: How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?