@DannyZuker: I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist.
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@aedison: DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin! DORIAN: Can I hide it? DEVIL: Well, yes, but— DORIAN: And there are no other consequences? DEVIL: This… This picture will become so foul! DORIAN: Again, probably I’ll hide the picture.
@Sanbel11: Do you know that horrible feeling of guilt when you eat all your kids candy? Me neither.
@tamytoo2: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me:I'm cute? Cop: Nope Me: you like my car? Cop: Nope Me: I could do this all day.