@SpencerLenox: I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
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@UNTRESOR: "How did you sleep?" "On my back, mostly. At one point I tried to climb into my dryer but I couldn't fit."
@Kim_pulsive: There is no way to differentiate between the screams you hear from mass murder, passengers on a plane going down and 5 Tweens seeing a bug
@TeejayRush: Marijuana is not a gateway drug... I have never been smoking weed and thought, "I know what this needs! Meth!..."
@TheRealDratch: Trying to get lunch w 4 yo in restaurant: "If you can't behave we're going to have to leave here." "But I want to leave here." Touché.