@SpencerLenox: I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
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@Home_Halfway: "Let's do 5 sets of squats & then try lifting for an hour. It looks like you got out of shape after your dad died" ~ Really personal trainer
@Bacon_Ball: Twitter was down for a couple of hours but I didn't panic at all. I dialed 911 and calmly told them "people are about to die". Then Hung up.
@thenatewolf: *angrily throws glass of bourbon into the fireplace* I'M SORRY MY RUDE WIFE DIDN'T OFFER YOU A DRINK, MR. FIRE!!!!