@LaLuchaNix: I just watched Grease and it makes me sad how kids today are too lazy to buy matching leather jackets and smoke cigarettes.
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@panmidwest: ME: it's spelled "kevin" but pronounced "kev-a-vin" INTERVIEWER: you're fired ME: you haven't even hired me yet INTERVIEWER: you're fired
@PaperWash: [while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol
@alldrolledup: when your neighbor cuts his grass and suddenly your place looks like a good place to score meth