@darkpassenger74: I just went to church and had communion. Ok it was a gas station and I had 2 donuts but I did say a prayer before scratching my lotto ticket
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@Jake_Vig: ME: Siri listen very carefully. I need you to quietly dial 911, and... SIRI: I HAVE FOUND TWO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 5 MILES OF YOUR LOCATION.
@lifecoachfit: I'm not gonna let something like a restraining order get in the way of a love as special and unique as ours. Shhhhh. Stop crying.
@KeetPotato: [kelloggs meeting] "okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?" a chicken "jim is there something wrong at home?"
@rohoxbaby: Every Facebook post: *Girl posts lyrics* Elderly woman comments "Hi lucy. you're so grown up. We miss you. Tell your mom ill call Wednesday"