@iNusku: I just wish God hadn't hidden all of my talents so well.
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@SCbchbum: If you want to know how many hours your mom was in labor with you, tell her you won't be able to come over & visit.
@SkylarGarland: "I'll catch up with you, I just have to make ONE more joke on Twitter" (How I'd die in a horror movie)
@chris_isloi: Holy shit, remember rhymes with September. If no one thought about putting that in a song, I'm gonna be rich.