@JessObsess: I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook.
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@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
@NervousJr: Snow White is my favorite Disney movie about a man trying to hook up with a woman who just wants to sleep.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: WOW. Look at those legs! Her: Thank you. M: They'd look great around my neck! H: Hey! M: Wish I'd brought my saw. H: WHAT?!? M: Nothing.