@TrueTorontoGirl: I just witnessed an employee choking on her noodles and now I feel sorry for her husband.
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@TheAlexP: [trapped under avalanche of Tupperware that fell on me from kitchen cabinet] *updates social media with selfie* Bring food, No weirdos.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Hardware store] ME: I'll take one of those giant forks. WORKER: That's a rake. ME: I'm gonna eat so much spaghetti with that thing.