@TrueTorontoGirl: I just witnessed an employee choking on her noodles and now I feel sorry for her husband.
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@Beesthegame: Man: I'd like an order of buffalo wings Bartender: sorry, we don't serve food here *a sandwich that just walked in flips a table and leaves*
@AndyAsAdjective: Which is worse: that I had to wear a Frozen bandaid cuz all the regular ones were taken or that I spent 5 min. deciding between Anna & Elsa?
@moose_chocolate: I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating the entire box of donuts.
@dru0887: If someone is jogging at 7am on a Sunday - it's because they've just killed someone right?