@LePetitOiseau_L: I just yelled "ACKNOWLEDGE MEEE!" at the automatic sensor in the sink faucet if anyone is wondering how stable I am today.
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@vineyille: It says here on your resume that you're "good at traps," could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?
@DJTannerComedy: Anderson Cooper: "the Arizona wildfire is flaming out of control." Arizona Wildfire: "Wow, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black."
@CooperLawrence: Netflix documentaries convinced me I should be vegan. So I did what any American would do. I bought some bacon and canceled Netflix.
@10InchesPlus: "Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever