@LePetitOiseau_L: I just yelled "ACKNOWLEDGE MEEE!" at the automatic sensor in the sink faucet if anyone is wondering how stable I am today.
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@OtherDanOBrien: *reads an article on a subject I know* This is bullshit *reads an article on a subject I don't know* If it's published it must be accurate
@Molly_Kats: WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling.
@truegritrumble: ME:WHY ARE YOU LEAVING ME? EVERYBODY LEAVES ME! UBER DRIVER:This is where you wanted to be dropped off, right? ME:*wiping away a tear* Yes.