@LePetitOiseau_L: I just yelled "ACKNOWLEDGE MEEE!" at the automatic sensor in the sink faucet if anyone is wondering how stable I am today.
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@markedly: My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded.
@Coolisiana: (Date) ME: Watch this *ties cherry stem with tongue* HER: *giggles* 1-UP WALLY: *places Rubik's cube in mouth and pulls it out solved*
@aveuaskew: You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead.
@panmidwest: ME: thanks for "showing me the ropes" lol SAILING INSTRUCTOR: you're not even making a joke sailing is literally where that comes from