@thisislizz: I just yelled 'Jayden' at the mall and now I'm a mom to like 20 kids.
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@LindaInDisguise: If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off.
@Kalarlis: sir i need to confiscate all the ice cream in your store yes this is just a costume & i'm not a real cop but no one told me i'm pretty today
@iheartgunts: "Don't let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father's actual sex talk with me when I was 13. Not. Even. Joking.