@thisislizz: I just yelled 'Jayden' at the mall and now I'm a mom to like 20 kids.
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@mrjohndarby: [inventor of the snooze button] ok, these alarm clocks are pretty good, let's add something to make them useless
@B0niferd: My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today but my sweatpants were like nah girl you're good.
@ValeeGrrl: You have to admire husband's focus as he plays on his iPad while I furiously chop carrots tapping out "I hate you" in morse code w my knife.
@_Tempo11: My family's invaded my house for the weekend. As a side note my dog's been walked 18 times