@Death_Buddy: I keep a chalk outline of myself drawn outside my house so any murderers think, "dang, someone's already got the murdering covered here"
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@AndrewNadeau0: GENIE:3 wishes ME:Can I wish for more? G:No M:I wish u couldn’t count G:Done. How many do u have left? M:A billion G: M: G:That sounds right
@AlfKilledMyCat: Learning spanish is bloody hard. I wish the english had conquered more of the world, I'm suffering from their laziness
@SomthinBoutSara: Just dropped ranch dressing on my phone then licked it off. So some of you just got to first base with me.
@SunshineJarboly: "Oh sure, they can eat their own poop, no problem. They just CAN'T eat chocolate. It'll kill them." - God inventing dogs.