@Death_Buddy: I keep a chalk outline of myself drawn outside my house so any murderers think, "dang, someone's already got the murdering covered here"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dongfuture: *stops walking* Wait, I think there’s a stone in my shoe *takes off shoe, shakes it upside down* *Mick Jagger hits the ground with a thud*
@BreadFoster: Only in New York will they pay $5 a bottle for cold water, but cry when it's free from the sky.
@joebirbigs: I would have got the Google Glass but I don't have $1500 or any desire to strap the internet to my face.