@Jackson5toLife: I keep a length of dental floss inside my perpetually furrowed brow.
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@k_lli: If you capitalize 'him' in your tweets I'm gonna automatically assume you're subtweeting god.
@CruisinSoozan: I shaved my legs. Well except for those three knee hairs I always miss. Looking good Larry, Daryl and Daryl.
@robfee: While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective defense against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?
@astutenewf: 12: Dad, if Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of god, didn't Mary have a little lamb? Me: And you came with a no return policy