@Jackson5toLife: I keep a length of dental floss inside my perpetually furrowed brow.
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@LaytesAgain: For women, the worst part of a breakup is probably that incessant little voice whispering "Do something stupid to your hair."
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Apple reportedly prepping electric car. Battery life is expected to be about an hour, with a 2 foot charging cable.
@iAmDelFreaky: I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival.
@kDuncanG: Don't tell me what your cats' names are, I'll call'em what I want. Oh, Mittens & Snuggles? WRONG. THAT'S WILDSTYLE & THAT'S SNACKMOUTH.