@hipchkk: I keep an extra stash of tampons in my purse to launch at blowhards who punctuate the end of their sentence with the word, "Period!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WheelTod: People who say the book is always better than the movie: have you ever actually read "Debbie Does Dallas?"
@SqueakyFreckles: I drove home with a new bunny for my kids & all they did was moan. "Why hasn't it got a head?" "I don't want to scrape it off the wheel."
@shariv67: When a cashier asks me if I found everything I was looking for, I take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."
@KKBowls: I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'