@hipchkk: I keep an extra stash of tampons in my purse to launch at blowhards who punctuate the end of their sentence with the word, "Period!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AtticusFinch79: I'm so oblivious to someone flirting with me that if they told me to take my shirt off I'd assume it was because I spilled something on it
@tylerschmall: Hi, fire department? My cat is in a tree. Television has taught me that this is your problem.
@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes when I'm sitting in a swivel chair, I'll turn around quickly and smile and pretend I'm in the opening credits of a sitcom
@neiltyson: Thought Experiment: Stand on a scale in an elevator. Cut the cable. You, the scale, and the elevator fall -- scale reads zero