@CakeThrottle: I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there
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@P0tterhead_394: My favorite pickup line is when a guy just slides an order of mozzarella sticks towards me.
@danguterman: Sick of the media always blaming video games for the rise in fantastical jewel-seeking quests.
@kumailn: Xmas Russian Roulette: 1. Sit next to parents. 2. Type any letter into browser on your laptop. 3. Go to the website it auto completes to.