@CakeThrottle: I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there
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@Lilbyrdy: My daughter said she wants to run away. We talked. She knows she can walk. I wont chase her.
@JohnHilsen: There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts.
@DickScurvy: Sorry for releasing thousands of shrieking bats at your wedding. Sometimes I don't know what to do with my hands.
@GFGander: Sucks when good bands have dumb names. "What are you listening to?" "It's Made Out of Babies, they're really great." "..."