@Carmel_Coleman: I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That'll teach 'em. Can't unsee that.
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@Your_Boy_Dylan: How did girls text before emojis? Hey I can't wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP
@3sunzzz: [fire] EVERYONE REMAIN CALM. Use the stairs. DO NOT use the elevators. We're on the 12th floor... *sigh* I guess I'm dying in a fire.
@LurkAtHomeMom: 90% of parenting a little girl is chasing her around the house with a hair brush and a ponytail holder.
@splendidcynic: Establish dominance at the dentist by hitting them with a rock and asking if THAT is comfortable.