@hilaryfairie: I keep hearing "Just be yourself" from everyone. I didn't realize so many people want me to go to prison :(
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@Awesomemom10: Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy?" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."