@hilaryfairie: I keep hearing "Just be yourself" from everyone. I didn't realize so many people want me to go to prison :(
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@Dani_Feld: All I do is eat, drink, sleep and tweet. I'm basically just a more annoying version of a Tamagotchi.
@Glynner85: I hate when The Little Mermaid is all "who cares no big deal I want more!" Like, you already have 20 thingamabobs you aquatic scumbag relax
@dreamthievin: I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial
@Sarcasticsapien: I wanna learn to speak Italian. Partially to go to Italy but mostly so I can pretend I don't know English when people wanna make small talk.