@weinerdog4life: I keep pushing the potato button on the microwave, but alas, no potato. :(
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@Pumpkinbabypie: You know how sharks die if they ever stop swimming? It's the same with my mother in law and talking.
@FrenulumBreve: [at the zoo] Llama spits in my face I spit in llamas face Llama slaps me I grab llamas hair Scuffle ensues Llamas gf shouts "leave it Gary!"
@Boba_Photo: I got a candy bar from the hotel mini bar if you're wondering why I'll be late with the mortgage this month.