@weinerdog4life: I keep pushing the potato button on the microwave, but alas, no potato. :(
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@fart: what's cool about Mitt Romney is that when you put politics aside he's still a genuinely detestable person
@jakob_huber: Be original. Don't just walk up to a girl in a bar. Pay bouncers to clear a path & cartwheel up to her. If rejected casually cartwheel away.
@Sarcasticsapien: Interviewer: Where were you born? Me: Missouri. I: What state are you in now? M: Apathy. I: That's not what I meant. M: I don't care.