@veggiefemme: I keep the streets safe at night by staying home.
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@vanderwangwe: Her: I want to have your babies. Me: You'll have to wait until they get off from school.
@finkelsteino: Hello, police, I have a burglar trapped in my home gym. Please hurry. The longer he's in there the more powerful he'll become.
@EliTerry: I brought a gun that shoots knives to a gun fight. Everybody was like whoa. We didn't even fight. Went to get nachos. Cool group of dudes.
@J0hnnyBlaze: When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time