@shkeeber: I killed a man once, because killing him twice is a physical impossibility.
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@DanMentos: *rings bell* "Can I help you?" Yes I'd like a dragon on my back an- *starts pooping on a crucifix* WTF? *checks sign on door* "Taboo Artist"
@bobvulfov: BUILDING INSPECTOR: what's this called DARTH VADER: the death— [inspector's eyes look up from his clipboard] DARTH VADER: uh the health star
@HatfieldAnne: Did I tell you about the time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose? No? One time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose.