@Kali_Mura: I killed my twin because she wouldn't admit that she was the evil one.
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@funnyordie: Want to make a nerd's head explode? Go to any site that posted the new Star Wars trailer & write "Where's Captain Kirk?" in the comments.
@TheSnideOne: What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?" What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."
@GensPlace: Online dating has its good points. You can choose your own name, lie through your teeth and you can't smell their breath.