@Kali_Mura: I killed my twin because she wouldn't admit that she was the evil one.
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@awescar: *rips finished page from adult coloring book* *puts it on daughter's toy kitchen fridge*
@pixelatedboat: I hope people don’t turn against my comics after they find out about my extreme religious views (belief that only Italians get into heaven)
@MasterOfFury: Today i started stalking guys. Not for any gay reason but it's so much easier to do. Women always complain, guys don't suspect a thing.
@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.