@JennyJohnsonHi5: I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in.
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@hazelmotes1: Our Mexican neighbor made us dinner and it tastes like I committed a grave error in marrying a white girl.
@Sassafrantz: Becky on FB is "too blessed to be stressed" so I told her that I slept with her boyfriend.
@Sean_Burgundy_: Leave everyone stranded at a bank robbery to play laser tag when you're the get away driver and suddenly no one is your friend anymore