@JennyJohnsonHi5: I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in.
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@MarlonBrandNO: [date] "don't let her know ur from twitter" Her: whats wrong? Me: This fork only has 3 prongs Her: So? Me: it should be called a threek
@IamEveryDayPpl: The real miracle is that the human race still exists after being stupid enough to kill the guy who could turn water into wine... Idiots.
@Underchilde: They say they’re free weights, but the gym gets pissed if you put them in your car and leave.