@WilliamAder: I knew joining a gym was a bad idea when I got there and needed help pulling the door open.
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@KateWhineHall: "Oh my gosh, this is the biggest donut I've ever seen." "Mam, that's a tire." "Kids, get me a napkin."
@monicaheisey: i watched a bunch of spy movies and developed this extremely accurate FBI floorplan
@dafloydsta: NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?
@MelvinofYork: I just told my boss that "STFU" stands for "Sincere Thanks For Understanding" and it's REALLY important that none of you tell him otherwise