@Muath_tu: I knock some sense into people with a hammer.
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@Smethanie: I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint.
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again
@Darlainky: Poker is a game of pretending you've got something better than you really do. Poker sounds a lot like my marriage.
@MatCro: [bar] CUSTOMER: Barman BARMAN: Sir? C: This beer tastes like piss [further down the bar] BEAR GRYLLS: I'll have what he's having