@Shock_Monster: I know a certain right hand that is going to be getting VERY lucky tonight...
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@moose_chocolate: For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate.
@iwearaonesie: wife: YOU changed the sheets?! [flashback to me eating nachos in bed after she told me not to and getting cheese everywhere] me: Surprise!
@Beerhaze: If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop.
@Vodkantots: In some cultures, it's considered polite to scream when someone shows you their baby. I'd be considered proper there. Probably.