@jonnysun: i know a guy who loves saying "best thing since sliced bread" and i imagine hes always at a grocery store lookin at bread and just losing it
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@briangaar: Girl, my life is full of tragedy. In 1997, my girlfriend was killed by a guy named Sephiroth. AND she was our party's only healer :(
@causticbob: My gf just sat me down and confessed to me that she used to be a Christian. It came as quite a shock; I've only ever known her as Christine
@DiscoFruit: [dies and goes to hell] me: "mom? dad!? what are you doing here!" dad: "we used to switch your food with the dog's food sometimes."