@omgthatspunny: I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
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@ninjadinosaur1: I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don't know. I'm still working it out.
@weinerdog4life: Last Halloween I had to explain to everyone that I was not a ghost with a boner, but I was just a ghost and I happened to have a boner.
@RandiLawson: Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Maybe then HR would stop hassling me for wearing a seashell bra on casual Fridays.
@CocoJr: 2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say