@omgthatspunny: I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
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@rolldiggity: Either the kids on my street were playing with sidewalk chalk, or this is a crime scene and a bunch of stars and cats just got murdered.
@Poutymcgee: "THE PLATYPUS HERE TASTES LIKE SHIT! DO NOT ORDER IT!" I shout in the face of a confused and frightened old lady at the zoo.
@WilliamAder: It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.