@omgthatspunny: I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
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@jjhartinger: Co-Worker: You say apparently a lot. Me: Yes, I know. CW: It really bothers me. M: Apparently so. CW: You don't care. M: Apparently not.
@JoParkerBear: Kanye West tweeted that Bill Cosby is innocent? This is the last straw. He just lost my vote in 2020.
@FattMernandez: I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild.