@1evilidiot: I know how to pronounce worcestershire until I see it written.
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@ArfMeasures: CROCODILE: Your shoes are gross ME [looks down at my green crocs] uh yeah. They're horrible CROCODILE: Have they got a name? ME: what CROCODILE: What do you call them? ME: uh CROCODILE: SAY IT
@HonestToddler: Toilet won't stop throwing up. I didn't know it was Legos intolerant. SEND HELP THIS IS NOT A DRILL
@danagould: I was having a political fight with someone on Twitter while my dog was out back barking at the wind. Then we switched.