@1evilidiot: I know how to pronounce worcestershire until I see it written.
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@huntigula: Jesus: He who is without sin may cast the first stone *guy with no legs throws rock* Jesus: Seriously? "You said 'without shins,' right?"
@tastefactory: I accidentally heated my Hot Pocket for 20:00 instead of 2:00 and now there's a giant radioactive Hot Pocket in my apartment watching my tv
@WilliamAder: First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework.
@TheCatWhisprer: I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season.