@1Happytwit: I know I have 19 items in the 15 items or less isle, but I'm pretty sure the tampons, painkillers, cheesecake and tequila count as one item.
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@MacAnnabella: I don't want to hear about any moonlit romantic walks on the beach...unless there's a clown with a wooden club chasing you.
@pleatedjeans: I should've never taught my parrot to say the alphabet backwards now he drives drunk all the time the cops can't do shit it's a real problem
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
@sweetg35: If you're not suppose to eat late at night, then why is there a light in the refrigerator?!