@meganamram: I know I'm being such a grammar Nazi, but it's "Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED," not "Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS"
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@Parkerlawyer: People that don't tweet for months and then show up like nothing happened... Was it jail? I bet it was jail.
@SirEviscerate: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?" Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me.
@Cheeseboy22: My wife is always like, "You answer the door, I don't even have my bra on!" and for that reason, I have stopped wearing a bra.