@Steelers1972: I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like.
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@daemonic3: [1st day as IT guy] CUSTOMER: My laptop is down today, can you help? ME: I'll try [softly, to laptop] Cheer up, bud, everything will be ok
@Dan_Haak: Me: *being hauled on a stretcher into an ambulance* Shotgun! EMT: dude your gonna die if you si- Driver: dammit Dave, he called shotgun
@bouncingblonde: Just made jerk off motions at a group of construction guys. They just stood there staring at each other like "now what?"...all talk eh boys?